In 2017, I flew to Cabo for my birthday with some friends and rode a horse on the beach. It was then and there that I decided I was going to do a full on photoshoot with a horse some day.
Fast forward to 2019 and my dream comes true, as I find a local ranch that offers horse rentals for film and shoots. You can imagine the slack I got once I told people that I was going to do this type of shoot. Comments came left and right from people calling me “extra”, that I was “doing too much”, and that it wasn’t even a “milestone birthday”. Obviously I started feeling embarrassed and even thought about canceling the shoot, I mean, was it really necessary?
After debating on the idea for a couple of days, I came across this quote on Pinterest.
“Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle.”
And as cliche as it sounds, it was one of those moments where you read exactly what you need. Granted, it was pure coincidence but I took it as a sign nonetheless to continue on with the shoot and guess what? I am so happy that I did because I had so much fun and I loved how the shots came out, and now I can look mark it off my bucket list. Although, I’ll be honest, I originally wanted to shoot with a white horse so I can caption it, “Didn't they tell you that I was a savage. Fuck your white horse and a carriage.." A line from one of my favorite songs by RiRi, “Needed Me”. Maybe next time.
So what’s the point of this blog post you may ask? Is it for me to tell my haters “HAH I DID IT SUCKERS!” and laugh at their faces for not believing in me? No. When I publish my first book, I may do that though. But I wanted to write this as a reminder for anyone who may be feeling a certain doubt or need reassurance that whatever they are doing, whatever path they are on, and whatever it is that they’re chasing that makes them happy shouldn’t ever be shoved aside due to doubts and criticism of others.
Yes, it’s easier said than done to ignore all the noise and do you. I get it, I’ve been there several times yet I always fall into that same trap of self-doubt and insecurity, the minute someone says something negative to me. It’s human nature and even the most positive people out there, fall into this trap once in awhile.
However, the next time you feel this way, I want you to take a deep breathe and ask these two questions:
1) Why am I allowing others to dictate my life and decisions?
2) Why the hell am I listening to them in the first place?
Yes, you should care about the opinions of your closest friends and family, but there is a line and how far they cross it is honestly how far you let them. When it comes down to what people want for you, they’re obviously thinking about what is best (for them) and not what makes you happy—this occurs a lot with parents and their children.
I get it, I grew up with Asian parents and I’m not a doctor or lawyer or have stable income. I got major slack every family dinner for about 8 years straight, especially since I left (ahem* was kicked out of the house) at 18, and being a girl, that was a huge NO to my relatives. Not only did I get shit for leaving the house without being married, so did my parents and whatever crap they got, was passed down to me so I basically got double the amount of shit. But I digress, as that whole story is for another post.
This post is meant to be a stern reminder that no one is in control of your happiness except you. You are the keeper to what makes you happy, what you can and want to do with your life, and no one else should ever be given this power. Not your mom, your dad, your professor, your boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. You are in full control of your life and I want you to look in the mirror (or just turn on the camera app on your iPhone and face it towards you) and repeat after me, “I am in control. Fuck the noise, I choose to live the life I want, the way I want.” Write it down on a post-it, if you want. Say it whenever you are in doubt or have had a rough day. I believe in you and I want you to believe in yourself too.
Now go on and sparkle!
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