Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself

As Jay-Z said, allow me to reintroduce myself...

Let's take it back a few steps - sit down, grab a cup of coffee and get cozy. If you've been a follower for the last two years, you know that I do not have a filter but I edit myself to keep certain campaigns brand approved ;) I have a potty mouth and I advise parents not to bring their children around me unless they want to learn a new word (or two). I can be pretty sarcastic, sometimes unintentionally rude because I wont' react how you expect me to. Sometimes I lack emotions, other times I cannot hold back my reactions and you'll be able to read my face completely. At least you know that I can't tell a lie - well. 

So why am I telling you all this? Because for the last month and a half, I have felt lost. I didn't want to admit it, but I wasn't sure what direction I was going. I'm sharing this because I know that you have or are feeling this way too.  We all get lost, sometimes more than a few times, but that doesn't mean that you're a failure. I'm not where I want to be, but should I be at 28? Should I feel content and completely satisfied by the age of 30? Am I supposed to be successful by 35? No. 

The truth is, society sets up these expectations for us and we fall into the trap of believing that these are rules to live by. When I was 21 I had a plan, I was going to work my way up the corporate ladder and have an amazing window view of the city from my office. I thought I would be making $80K+ annually, have amazing vacations around the world, and live in a 4-bedroom condo in LA. 

It took me 6 years to graduate from CSULB, with a BA degree in American studies. Don't even ask me what that is. Working full-time while attending night classes is not easy, and at one point I included a part-time job on top of this. Needless to say, college was only completed to make my parents proud. I'm glad that I finished and got my BA, but honestly, I would've much rather save myself the 35K+ in school loans. 

When I turned 25, I had already gone through a few relationships and had a list (in my head) of the qualifications of what a good boyfriend should be. Attempting to find a relationship based off a list of expectations is stupid. Have standards but be realistic. Luckily, I got rid of that stupid list and fell in love with KSOLE. You learn over time what works and what doesn't, in relationships, and in your life.

Just like relationships, you should have realistic standards about your goals. Celebrate progress, no matter how small, progress is progress. As long as you're moving forward, you're doing it right. It's hard to not beat yourself up, I do it way too often and fall into a sob fest which includes a tub of ice cream. By the way, I have the ugly cry syndrome like Kim K so it isn't a pretty scene whatsoever. Attempting to be positive all the time is hard and not realistic. It's OK to breakdown but don't get stuck; get back up and get into the game ASAP. Dwelling is a waste of time, instead plan your next move. Get motivated, get inspired. It isn't easy but it's worth it. 

I don't have a condo. I live in a studio outside of LA near the best Chinese food.
I don't have a consistent paycheck. I do manage to pay my bills (not always on time but I pay them).
I don't have a great view from my office. I do work from home at a desk that KSOLE built for me, in my pajamas.
But why the heck am I even focusing on what I don't have? That's a problem I'm still working on. Human nature to compare yourself to others and I'm trying to change that.
So work on it with me guys, congratulate yourself on the things you do have and what you have accomplished so far! 

In the meantime, work on you and do you boo, at your own pace. As long as you are moving forward towards your goals, then you're already winning. 

To all you hustlers out there, I believe in you and I know you're going to succeed!